My approach to managing stress combines both biological understanding and emotional awareness. Here’s what I do:

1. Be aware of the biology and psychology involved.

Understanding how stress affects my body and mind gives me greater control over my responses.

2. Connect with the emotions that are driving the stress.

Instead of resisting stress, I try to welcome it as a friend. I imagine sitting with my stress, having a cup of tea with it, and listening to what it’s trying to tell me. This allows me to understand the underlying emotions rather than just reacting to them.

3. Change my beliefs about those emotions.

Much of the discomfort we associate with stress stems from our beliefs about what those emotions mean. By challenging those beliefs, I reduce the power those emotions have over me.

4. Pause my behaviour for 20-25 minutes.

During this time, I focus on self-care activities—particularly aerobic exercise like walking—which helps my body release built-up stress hormones. I often combine this with positive affirmations or acts of self-love to reinforce calmness and balance.

I apply insights from Lipton (2015) and Goleman (1996) in my approach. Lipton explains how beliefs shape biology, and how changing our perspective on emotions can reduce their harmful impact on both our mind and body.

Goleman’s (1996) work highlights how the brainstem filters external stimuli before sending it to the higher brain regions like the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex. Since the limbic system reacts faster than the logical prefrontal cortex, we’re often impulsive in response to perceived threats. This is what Goleman describes as the “amygdala hijack”—when our emotional brain overrides rational thinking, triggering stress-related hormones.

Knowing this, I consciously pause whenever I feel reactive. This gives my logical brain time to process the situation, allowing me to respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively. During this pause, I focus on self-love and often engage in aerobic exercise, which helps my body release stress hormones and return to balance.

References

Goleman, D. (1996). Emotional intelligence : Why it can matter more than IQ. Bloomsbury.

Lipton, B. H. (2015). The biology of belief 10th anniversary edition (1st ed.). Hay House.